


The Complications of a Love Language Shared

by gallantrejoinder



Series: Acts of Service [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottoming from the Top, Demisexual Character Having Sex, Demisexuality, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Haha bottom is a really silly word, If that's not your jam, M/M, Riding, Smut, Subversions of Topping and Bottoming Roles, Topping from the Bottom, Unrealistically Good First Times, Very Enthusiastic Consent, Well really just, coming together, do not copy to another site, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:31:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19461202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallantrejoinder/pseuds/gallantrejoinder
Summary: It's their first time, but more importantly, it's Dirk's First Time, which means it needs to be good.Toddneeds to be good.He may not have considered that Dirk has his own ideas about how their first time is going to go.





	The Complications of a Love Language Shared

**Author's Note:**

> Note the tag " _unrealistically_ good first times," I do not claim to be aiming for realism here, this is pure fantasy and wish fulfilment. BRING ON THE ROMANCE AND IDEALISM.
> 
> Also note that this fic contains an a-spec character having sex, so if that's not your deal, give this one a miss! 
> 
> Will make sense if you haven't read [Caretaking](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18788299/), but I'd appreciate it if you gave that one a look first anyway - there's a reason this is marked as a sequel :)

It should come as not surprise, given all of Todd’s … issues, that when the subject of Dirk’s First Time (capitalised in bold, intimidating letters to Todd’s mind) comes up, he falls headfirst into an anxious spiral of self-doubt.

He’s fully aware that Dirk is completely in love with him and therefore will probably also love anything that they do together. He definitely has so far. But that’s the problem – it’s completely possible that Dirk, having discovered that he really, _really_ enjoys a lot of sex-adjacent activities with Todd when previously he’d had no interest in them, might be overambitious in what he’s expecting.

For one thing, Todd had assumed they’d start out with – the basics, really. Handjobs, maybe blowjobs. Things which are one hundred percent satisfying on their own and which many, many couples never move beyond, happy with those things under their belt, so to speak. Plus, they’re the things Todd has the most experience with, considering they’re pretty much the same across genders. Blowjobs and handjobs are hard to get wrong, as long as you’re communicating with your partner and vice versa. And in Todd’s experience, they can be a lot on their own. More than enough.

That’s why Todd nearly spits his coffee all over Dirk one morning when Dirk turns to him and says, “Todd, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I’m fairly certain I’d like you to fuck me.”

“… I’m sorry?” Todd stares across the bed at Dirk, who is sipping on his tea quite calmly.

“I said I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I’d like you to –”

“No, no, yeah, I got that part.” Jesus Christ. “I meant – uh, what’s brought this on?”

Dirk sets down his tea, now looking a little more uncertain. “Well, you know … We’ve been in a relationship now for a few months –”

“Six,” Todd interrupts, before flushing. God, he doesn’t have to be so obvious.

But Dirk only smiles shyly. “Six. And I know we’ve been … progressing rather slowly, compared with normal couples.”

“Dirk,” Todd says softly, feeling his heart twinge. “We’re plenty normal.”

Dirk waves a hand. “Well, compared with – many couples. The point is that I’ve been thinking about – things – er, involving you and me and …”

“Sex.”

“Yes.” Dirk’s very pink now, so maybe he’s not as unaffected as he’s making out. “I just … I understand that first times are rarely all they’re cracked up to be, at least according to the internet and my own experience of other, nonsexual types of first times, many of which have involved situations I’m told are very odd for me not to have participated in already, but I – I would really like to do that with you. Specifically. The – fucking.”

“Oh,” Todd says, _not_ squeaks. He clears his throat. “Oh.”

Todd remembers his First Time. It had been with a girl he hadn’t known very well in college, and it had been … mediocre. Kinda underwhelming. His next go had been with someone a little more enthusiastic, and that had been better. And his first time with a guy had been a few years later, with one of his bandmate’s friends who was interested in experimentation with other guys – which Todd had been happy to agree to. Boy _had_ they experimented.

So it’s not for lack of experience that Todd’s freaking out. It’s just that …

“Well, I mean, it’s your first time, so. I think you should get the final call,” he offers.

Dirk frowns and shakes his head. “But I don’t want to do anything you don’t want! I do understand that there’s frequently compromises made when it comes to these sorts of things, but if it’s such a big deal to you that it’s my first time, well – then I reserve the right to only do things you want to do just as much.”

Todd’s stomach does a weird swooping thing. It’s been doing that more and more often since they started dating. Weird, because prior to Dirk, that feeling had always diminished after he started dating a crush.

“Okay,” he says, and it comes out a lot shyer than he means it to.

The conversation moves on from there. Todd gets the sense that while Dirk’s clearly enthusiastic about having sex, he’s also not in a rush. Which is good, because Todd’s trying not to panic.

This is Dirk’s First Time, and he wants to – to go the whole hog, so to speak. Todd has done … that kind of thing in the past. Both ways, and he’s not sure he has a preference, but then he’d been doing it with someone he definitely wasn’t in love with, which might make a difference – but none of that even matters anyway because it was so long ago. And Todd somehow needs to make this perfect for Dirk. He needs to give Dirk an incredible experience for his first time or –

Todd’s not going to consider what comes after “or.” The point is that he needs to make Dirk’s First Time mind-blowingly good, and he’s not entirely confident that he can, because he’s … himself. He’s just Todd, and that might not be good enough.

~

They don’t force it to happen. It’ll be unplanned when it does happen, they’re both agreed on that – although a few supplies have appeared in Todd’s beside table that weren’t there before, and he even, flushing, starts keeping things on him that he normally wouldn’t. He goes to get a check-up on the off-chance he’s been harbouring something all these years, and it feels clinical and embarrassing, but there’s an undeniable relief to discovering his endless shitty decisions have miraculously not given him an STD and that, if they wanted, they could do it without worrying about condoms. It’s another choice they have, a decision they can make together. It’s weirdly nice, and when he brings it up with Dirk one day, stammering over his own embarrassment, Dirk agrees.

Still, Todd feels unprepared when the day comes. Or the night, rather, because the sun has set and there’s a blessed coolness to the summer night air that wafts in through the open window. It isn’t like they’ve been on a case, high on adrenaline and shoving each other up against walls in a frantic attempt to prove they’re alive – though that has happened, on occasion, it’s just never quite gone as far as the removal of clothing. Tonight, they’re simply slow with the heat, clean from showering, and invigorated by the cool change which swept through the city at dusk.

Also, Farah’s out of the apartment for the weekend, and that helps matters along.

They begin as they frequently do – with Dirk gently setting Todd’s book aside, a look in his eyes that still manages to make Todd wonder how he ever managed this – managed finding a best friend and a lover all at once. Dirk smiles at him a little nervously, reaching across their bed to put his hand against Todd’s neck, silently inviting Todd to move closer.

“Hi,” he says softly.

Todd takes Dirk’s face in his hands. “Hey,” he whispers back, before kissing him, reverently, trying to show Dirk how much it means to him – having Dirk in his life like this.

And Dirk kisses back, equally as softly, but apparently he has other plans. He tugs on Todd’s hair and opens his mouth to swipe at Todd’s bottom lip, and the feeling of it makes Todd pull Dirk hard against him without even thinking about it. He tries to break away – say, _I’m sorry, was that okay?_ – but Dirk makes a pleased noise and slips a hand under Todd’s shirt, and Todd loses the thought almost as soon as it arrives. He grips Dirk’s hip, sliding their legs together, and kisses Dirk back.

When they kiss like this, it makes Todd feel like he’s just discovered kissing; like he’s a teenager again, with only a couple of shitty decisions under his belt, and so much more to look forward to, a whole future stretching out before him that feels impossibly long. Part of that is because of Dirk’s sexuality being so different from Todd’s other partners – kissing isn’t a precursor to sex, for Dirk, it’s something equally as satisfying and intense, and that means it can go on forever, no end in sight. Todd had worried, at first, that he would come off as some kind of gross pervert, because his body was definitely taking notice of Dirk’s body, and it grew more difficult to hide over time.

He remembers pushing Dirk down onto the bed one night, unthinkingly sliding their bodies together until their hips were aligned, and how Dirk broke away with a sudden breath when he felt Todd’s erection against his hip. Todd had pulled back, suddenly ashamed – immediately spiralling into an internal barrage of self-deprecation and bitter vitriol – but then Dirk had opened his eyes and looked at Todd in amazement.

 _You –_ Dirk had sounded shocked.

 _I’m sorry_ , Todd had interrupted, feeling the shame bubbling inside him. _Sorry, I’ll – we can stop. I can’t …_

Can’t control it. He wanted Dirk too badly for that.

Dirk had shaken his head slowly. _No_ , he’d whispered, running his fingers through Todd’s hair, _I’m fine. I just didn’t expect it. Please don’t stop. Not yet_.

And Todd hadn’t – not until they were both breathless with it, until Dirk had put a hand against his chest and murmured, _I love you_. Then, Todd had pulled back, delirious with joy.

Before tonight, their kissing hasn’t ever ended with orgasm. But every time, Todd’s felt the pounding of his heart as hard as if he had.

Tonight, they kiss like something terrifying is in the room with them, and to keep it at bay, all they have to do is lose themselves in each other. In a way, of course, Todd _is_ terrified. He wants so badly for it to be _good_ , for Dirk to keep wanting him when this first time is over. But it’s exciting too – thrilling to discover something new together. He kisses Dirk with a hunger that makes him bite down on Dirk’s bottom lip, a tiny flash of almost-pain that he can easily soothe away with the gentle press of his tongue. Todd begins to kiss his way down Dirk’s neck, barely brushing his mouth against Dirk’s skin at first, but quickly devolving into sucking red marks, leaving bruises for the following morning.

It had surprised Todd when he discovered that Dirk liked the roughness of these kinds of kisses. Todd had thought, what with Dirk having such a complicated relationship to touch, that gentle stroking and soft caresses would be as much as Dirk could take. But he should have known – Dirk _craves_ the intensity of it, as is evidenced by the high, breathy sounds that Dirk is currently making in response to the sensation of Todd’s teeth against his neck.

It sets the heat low in Todd’s belly aflame, and the flame becomes an inferno as Dirk tugs almost painfully on Todd’s hair. Todd doesn’t have any particularly strong feelings about pain, himself – but there’s something in knowing that Dirk is losing control like this because of _him_ ; his fingers are grasping for purchase on Todd’s back; his other hand is threaded through Todd’s hair because _Todd_ is making him feel like this. It feels like the wild, untempered joy of victory, of success, of being _good_. And that’s not a feeling Todd is used to, but he’s quickly becoming addicted.

He draws back for a second, to pull off his own shirt – which he’s kinda wishing he’d washed, because now he’s worrying that the smell will stick on his skin – but Dirk impatiently pulls him back down to keep kissing as soon as it’s gone. Todd smiles into the kiss, because he can’t remember ever being with someone so enthusiastic, but he still needs to be closer to Dirk, still needs to remove the barriers between them. Todd had only pulled on a shirt and underwear after showering, and at this point that’s leaving him extremely exposed compared to Dirk’s mismatched but nonetheless complete pyjama set. He undoes the buttons of Dirk’s pyjama shirt one by one while Dirk keeps kissing him, sliding it off Dirk’s shoulders in one movement. Dirk’s left elbow gets caught in the sleeve and Dirk pulls away with an annoyed noise, which makes Todd laugh. After wrestling the offending garment off and flinging it across the room, Dirk turns back to Todd with a glare that just makes Todd laugh even harder.

“ _Todd_ ,” Dirk whines.

“What? That was very smooth,” Todd says, failing entirely to keep the affection out of his voice.

Dirk makes a valiant attempt to frown, but the corners of his mouth twitch.

“I can be suave!” he argues.

“Very.”

He realises that they’re getting dangerously close to new territory for the both of them, and pauses, leaning over Dirk carefully to press his forehead against Dirk’s.

“Is this okay? Do you want – tonight?”

“Yes,” Dirk whispers, reaching back for him. “And yes. I prepared.”

Todd pulls back, blinking. “You did?”

“Mm-hmm. I had a hunch. Well, more of a gut feeling.”

Todd narrows his eyes. “There is – no way the Universe gave you a hunch about when we were gonna have sex for the first time.”

Dirk smiles sweetly. “After all this time, Todd, I would have thought you’d have some faith in the Universe, especially considering how many times _my_ hunches have led us to victory in the battle for the last blueberry and white chocolate chip scones at Seedy Bakery, when _you_ were sure there wouldn’t be any le–”

Todd has known for a long time how to stop a Dirk spiral in its tracks, but so far, the most effective method is with a kiss. And this one certainly seems to be working, judging by the way Dirk melts into it instantly, winding his arms around Todd’s neck. He pulls Todd down, until they’re lying skin to skin, their bare chests rising and falling with their quickening breaths, and it feels like warmth is suffusing Todd’s whole body. Dirk’s legs lie on either side of Todd’s hips, and as he shifts up to kiss Dirk at a deeper angle, he feels their erections brush together through layers of fabric. It gives Todd a rush so heady that he forgets how to talk for a second.

But only a second.

“Is this okay?”

Dirk moans wordlessly in answer, closing his eyes in ecstasy, but Todd wants an answer, wants to know that what he’s doing is _good_. “Dirk?”

Dirk opens his eyes and leans forward to brush his mouth against Todd’s as he whispers, “Yes. Todd, _yes_ , keep _going_.”

It sounds like an order, so Todd obeys, grinding against Dirk over and over again, pressing his mouth to Dirk’s collarbones, sucking bruises into his skin. Dirk runs his fingernails down the length of Todd’s back, and Todd imagines faint red lines blooming where Dirk is touching him. It drives him to roll his hips with more urgency against Dirk’s groin, and Dirk responds in kind, grinding up against him. Rubbing up against each other like this – Todd realises how it must look from the outside, like they’re imitating the act they’ll soon be engaging in, like they’re practising for it. The thought sends a spike of arousal right through him, and he pants against Dirk’s neck, the excitement and the terror of it, the _responsibility_ , all twisting together into a maelstrom of arousal.

“Todd,” Dirk says, breathing hard, and Todd’s hips stutter to a halt.

“Are you okay?”

Dirk lets out a breathy laugh. “Yes – I’m fine – but I don’t think either of us will last if …”

Todd flushes, his already warm skin burning. “Oh – yeah, you’re right, um …” He forces himself to slow his breathing. “Do you still want to …?”

Dirk raises his eyebrows. “To … fuck?”

Another spike of arousal, this time striking right through Todd’s groin. “Yeah.”

Dirk bites his lip in what might a totally uncalculated move, judging by the high color on his cheeks, but _might_ just be downright flirtation. “Yes. I do.”

“Oh, god,” Todd groans, letting his head thunk down on Dirk’s shoulder. “You’re – so fucking hot, Dirk, Jesus.”

“Well, I return the sentiment.”

Todd laughs weakly. “Do you – I have lube, is there anything …?”

Dirk shakes his head. “No. We said no condoms, right?”

“Yeah, no, we did.”

“Then,” Dirk says, smiling, “I don’t see what’s stopping you from deflowering me, Mr. Brotzman.”

“Oh my god, stop,” Todd groans, wrinkling his nose. He climbs off Dirk to search through his bedside drawer for the lube he’d tucked away there a couple of weeks ago. He can hear Dirk laughing behind him, in that delighted, Dirk-ian way that always makes Todd’s heart feel like it’s melting into a puddle of marshmallow goo.

He finds the lube stashed somewhere in the back, and turns around to find that Dirk’s shucked off his pyjama pants, which means both of them are much closer to being naked around each other than they’ve ever been before (discounting, obviously, misadventures of the case variety, which all of the agency, Farah included, had agreed to try to forget.) Todd’s mouth goes dry at the sight of Dirk’s body stretched out before him, and he forgets what he was doing entirely.

“Have I mentioned,” Dirk says, a shy note in his voice, “That I – _really_ like it when you look at me.”

Todd tears his gaze away from the rest of Dirk’s body to look him in the eye. “Honestly, I find it really hard to look away.”

Dirk throws an arm over his face. “That’s possibly the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” His voice is muffled.

“Come here,” Todd murmurs, shuffling over to lie beside him.

Dirk puts his arm down and reaches back for Todd, sitting up briefly to kiss him. He lies down again quickly though, seeming to realise there’s still one more thing to deal with before they can proceed. He shifts his hips up and, in a surprisingly fluid movement, strips his underwear off. Todd loses his breath – it’s strange, it always is, to see someone completely naked, never mind someone he’s known and loved and _wanted_ for so long. But this is _Dirk_. This is Todd’s best friend, his boyfriend, his lover, looking up at him with equal parts nervousness and desire in his eyes.

And it kinda helps, too, that Todd’s suddenly overcome with the urge to get his mouth on Dirk’s dick. But another time. They’re already way too worked up for that.

(Or at least, Todd definitely is.)

“You’re really fucking beautiful,” he blurts out.

Dirk, rather than responding with words, winds his arms around Todd, pulling Todd on top of him and squeezing him within an inch of his life. Todd laughs, but it’s not because Dirk’s being funny. It’s just because.

“Come on,” Dirk whispers in his ear, “I want to see you too, you know.”

Todd finds it difficult to imagine anybody wanting to look at him, considering. Especially since Dirk knows everything about him – but that’s the thing, isn’t it? Dirk knows everything about him, and Dirk wants all of it, every ugly part of him, not just the parts that can be easily forgiven.

So, with that in mind, Todd removes his underwear before clambering back beside Dirk, uncertain – but he shouldn’t be, because Dirk is on him in an instant, pulling him in and kissing him with a particularly fierce kind of passion that says, without words, _you’re beautiful too_. Todd ignores the sudden lump in his throat.

He fumbles around in the bed blindly until he finds the lube again, and then he sits back, kneeling between Dirk’s legs.

“Do you want to do it like this?”

Dirk nods. “Yes. I want to see you.”

Todd manages to feel both a melty-glowing heart feeling and a wave of overwhelming arousal at the same time, and it nearly short-circuits his brain. “Okay,” he says, ignoring the urge to clear his throat. “I … Tell me if I’m hurting you, I’m just gonna start out with my fingers, okay?”

“I know,” Dirk says calmly. “I told you, I’ve been – practising.”

Todd blinks. “Wait, you mean like …”

Dirk smiles slowly, and of all things, it looks smug. “I mean that package I got a couple of weeks ago wasn’t a new tie.”

“… I gotta say,” Todd eventually manages to reply, “the thought of you masturbating when I’m not around is –”

“Oh, I’m sor–”

“– _really_ hot.”

Dirk shuts his mouth, his embarrassed expression immediately returning to something very self-satisfied once more. “Oh, _really_?”

Todd rolls his eyes, but in his head he can’t stop picturing it – Dirk, touching himself and thinking of Todd, thinking of _this_. “Shut up,” he says, but there’s no heat in it.

“Make me,” Dirk says, grinning.

Well, there’s only one answer to that.

Todd uses a generous amount of lube on his fingers. Dirk may have prepared for this, but Todd knows from experience that too much lube is a far better situation to be in than too little. When he’s thoroughly coated his fingers, he slowly uses one finger to stroke along Dirk’s entrance, and Dirk shudders.

Todd angles his wrist carefully, mindful that if they keep this up, he’s going to get very sore there. And he wants it to be good, he wants to be good for Dirk. No carpal tunnel syndrome here. The objective ridiculousness of that statement almost calms him. He strokes Dirk again, and then, almost unbearably slowly, he slides his finger inside.

Dirk sighs, relaxing, to let Todd inside. So far, so – incredibly hot. Todd works his finger in and out, giving Dirk time to get used to the sensation, but Dirk seems utterly blissed out, so Todd focuses mainly on trying to find the best angle to –

Dirk lets out a sudden moan that sounds like Todd’s name. All right. Angle found.

Todd pulls his finger back, only to slide another in. There’s a little more resistance this time, but still, nowhere near as much as Todd had worried there might be. Dirk really must have been – practising. He must have wanted this for a long time. With _Todd_ , he wants this with _Todd_.

Todd works his fingers inside Dirk, feeling Dirk tighten and relax around them, as Dirk forces himself to lie still. But Todd finds that particular angle again, and Dirk’s back arches as he lets out another moan. Todd keeps sliding his fingers in and out for a few minutes more, watching Dirk writhe, feeling his cock twitch against his stomach as the ache to be inside Dirk properly grows and grows. Todd’s free hand rests on Dirk’s thigh, and he finds himself clutching at Dirk’s skin, digging in his nails without meaning to.

“Todd,” Dirk gasps, “I think – I think I need you to –”

“Yeah?” Todd’s voice comes out rougher than he intends it to.

Dirk tenses, reaching up with both hands to grab the headboard. “I need you inside me,” he says, struggling not to lose the words in moans.

Todd pulls his fingers out, and Dirk makes a soft noise of complaint. But he falls silent, opening his eyes to watch Todd sit up, lining up their bodies. Todd uses a little more lube on his dick, but he pauses, hovering above Dirk. There’s a hunger inside Dirk’s gaze that cracks Todd open, leaving him vulnerable and wanting.

“Like this?” He asks, one last time.

Dirk hesitates. “Actually …”

Todd pauses, suddenly afraid he’s pushed Dirk too far. Dirk’s expression isn’t nervous, though – if anything, he looks … playful, in a thoughtful kind of way.

And then, in one swift movement, he sits up, rolls his legs over Todd’s middle, and pushes Todd flat on his back.

“I think,” Dirk says, his eyes shining in the reflection from their bedside lamp, “I want to do it like this. Do you want it like this, Todd?”

Todd can’t speak. Can’t even think straight. Dirk’s thighs on either side of his hips are so warm, and the weight of him is so good. There’s a chain in his mind where his thoughts used to be, and it’s made of Dirk’s name, looping over and over again. _Dirk-Dirk-Dirk_. Following the beat of his heart, pounding in his chest.

“Todd?” There’s an uncertainty in Dirk’s eyes, now, a worry.

Todd finds it in himself to nod. “Like this,” he whispers, his voice failing him.

Dirk smiles, a quiet, reassuring thing –

And then he reaches back, to guide Todd inside him.

Todd can’t think of the words for how good it feels. The soft, wet warmth surrounding him is just the right side of too much – it almost sends him over the edge there and then, but he can’t, he _won’t_ disappoint Dirk like that. His legs go rigid as he flexes his toes, desperately willing the blood in his body to go somewhere _else_ for thirty seconds, and a groan escapes his mouth without his meaning to.

“Oh,” Dirk sighs, from above him, and Todd still can’t speak, but god, does he ever agree. Dirk leans down to kiss him, still fully seated on him, and everything goes quiet in Todd’s head.

For a moment, everything is suspended in the stillness of DirkandTodd and ToddandDirk, so intimately connected that Todd suddenly _understands_. The Universe really is involved in this – it always was. Maybe everything was connected for this moment only, all along.

And then Dirk begins to move.

Slowly at first, raising himself up, and then back down again. Todd makes a noise he can’t ever recall making, and it’s like he doesn’t recognise himself, this version of him who wants and _wants_ and isn’t ashamed. Whatever they find together tonight, they’ll find it together.

Dirk rolls his hips in a rhythm that is languid, easy, like they’ve got all the time in the world. Like he’s trying it out for the first time, and really, he is. Todd knows that this almost certainly won’t be the last time, though, because it doesn’t take very long at all for Dirk to beginning speeding up, taking Todd inside him in a fervent pace that fries what’s left of Todd’s ability to observe the situation.

His fingers press indentations into Dirk’s skin where they grip his thighs, and he can feel Dirk’s muscles straining as he sinks onto Todd over and over again. Todd feels lightheaded with sensation, drunk on the feeling of being surrounded by Dirk, being the subject of Dirk’s desire. Dirk rides him with such intensity, running his hands up and down Todd’s sides, moaning Todd’s name at intervals, like he’s reminding himself that they’re together, that they can have this.

Todd has always been quiet in bed. It’s a habit picked up from his teen years, when Amanda was just down the hall and his parents were on the floor above, and he was just discovering the wonders of jerking off. But there are sounds coming from him now that he doesn’t even recognise, sounds he didn’t know he was capable of making.

And when Todd had thought about _Dirk_ might sound like in bed – when he had allowed himself to think about it, when Dirk had said, _I like that you think about it_ – he hadn’t known what to predict; whether Dirk would be quiet, as soft as the one broken key on the ancient piano Todd’s parents had owned when he was a kid, or whether Dirk would moan Todd’s name, cry out to the heavens and beg god to get him there. The second one, Todd is realising, is a far more accurate picture of the situation. Dirk makes noises like he can’t help it; high sounds of need as he pushes onto Todd’s dick, low groans when he pauses to hold Todd inside him, and sometimes, just Todd’s name, whispered like a prayer.

As they draw nearer to the inevitable, the last of these becomes a lot more frequent. He murmurs _Todd-Todd-Todd_ , and Todd finds his voice, whispers back.

“I’m here.”

“I think,” Dirk shakily, his legs trembling as he keeps his hips rolling, “I think I’m – Todd, I’m so _close_ –”

“I know.” Todd pulls Dirk onto him, pushing his hips up. “I am too.” He reaches over, taking Dirk’s dick in his hand, and realises this is the first time he’s touched Dirk there. The weight of it in his hand feels – unbearably right, like he was made to touch Dirk, made to make Dirk feel this good.

Dirk draws in a shuddering breath at the sensation, closing his eyes. “Todd – you feel – you’re so good, _Todd_ , you’re so _good_ –”

And it might be the words, or the sensation of Dirk clenching around him, or it might be just that Todd’s been waiting his whole life for it and he can’t wait any longer, but it’s at that exact second that Todd feels himself fall over the edge of orgasm. A rolling wave of heat and starlight rushes over him, and he knows even in the middle of it that it’s better than any he’s had with a partner before. Todd feels a hot wetness cover his hand as Dirk comes with him, and that _definitely_ hasn’t happened with a partner before, not that Todd intends to compare because – god, nothing, _nothing_ can compare with this.

Dirk collapses on top of him, breathing heavily into Todd’s ear, but Todd is too exhausted to move. For a few precious minutes, they breathe together through the silence, the cool night air soothing their fevered bodies.

Eventually, Todd dredges up enough energy to speak, though the words come slow and syrupy. “How … was it?”

Dirk is silent for a moment, which sends a tiny thrill of anxiety into Todd’s stomach.

“If you have to ask that question,” he slurs into Todd’s ear, “then we’ve got no choice but to go again.”

Todd laughs, and it breaks right through the quiet. Dirk smiles against Todd’s neck.

“No offense, but I don’t think I’ll be ready to go again until next summer,” Todd groans. Now that he’s coming out of the afterglow, he can feel how sticky and exhausted his body is from the action of the night.

“Mmm,” Dirk hums, “Don’t care. Good stuff. Yes. Love you.”

And that, too, is new.

“Love you too,” Todd whispers.

They’ll get up in a few minutes to get clean, and settle back into bed in fresh pyjamas (because, ugh, Todd is just realising that he may have been lying on Dirk’s pyjama pants that whole time.) They’ll curl up close together, not minding if they get a little bit too warm in the summer heat, because the cool change has come through now, and they’ll cool down too.

Probably, they’ll need to talk about the fact that Todd has discovered an entirely new side to himself that really shouldn’t have taken him by as much surprise as it did. Considering how thoroughly Dirk seemed to enjoy himself, Todd doubts it’ll be a problem. Admittedly, while Todd’s floating on a sea of very pleasant hormones, it’s hard to see how they’ll ever have problems again.

He knows logically that they will. But he also knows that they’ll get through them – that, as he seems to be learning, Dirk is gonna take care of him equally as well as Todd’s learned to take care of Dirk. And if that’s not enough, then the Universe itself better be willing to square up, because here, in Dirk’s arms, the heavy weight of him pressing against Todd’s stomach, Todd can’t imagine anything better.

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm ... not even into anal at _all_ but the image of Todd being like is this okay are you okay are we okay and Dirk being like Todd ... oh my god and just RIDING him into oblivion would not leave my head, so here we are. 
> 
> I'll be in the cellar, hiding in shame, if anyone needs me.
> 
> (... But please do comment if you enjoyed!)
> 
> Final note, no, they do not use condoms. Todd goes to a doctor and is free from anything that could be an issue, and that is in the fic but I worry about people missing it, and yes, admittedly, there is a very tiny chance that technically speaking Dirk _could_ have an STI despite being a virgin, but like. The chances are not high and as the author I officially cast this idea out. Have safe sex my dudes, but also don't take fics as instructional guides.
> 
> [My Tumblr.](https://gallantrejoinder.tumblr.com/)


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